Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tangled Up in Today

Ok so on the scheme of how my past two years at Temple have been, the past two days sucked. It seemed like I'm the happiest here when I'm just freefloating and taking classes for a fun career than when I'm taking my other side of science classes for a career I actually see myself in. I know what you're thinking, just drop the science and do something fun. But therein lies my biggest problem. Im just can't drop the science idea as well. You're looking at someone who was a 4 year old nerd telling the world without any form of doubt, that she was going to be a pharmacist. Now as most of my friends know I was completely (and I mean completely) unhappy when I was pursuing pharmacy. So after a year of philandering around I'm not sure why I was convinced approaching science in another light would be so much more fun. Well let me tell you Chem II is still Chem II whether you're going into pharmacy or going into teaching little school science. And for the past two days I've felt like I was back at the beginning of freshman year of college. Except this time I'm not so naive to think I could just make it through and not have it be terrible. I know now I'd have to kill myself for a good grade, and I began to wonder, why the hell am I killing myself making myself miserable for something I never need for what I want. That's why I in effect dropped chem II as of today. I'm in the process of trying to add another education course and also trying to decide if just changing to an elementary ed degree might suit me better. In turn I'd be doing the same job, just with a lot of undo stress killing me in my life missing in between. For the past few days I wanted to just sit complacent and not do anything about it but through the coaxing of others and my own uncertainty driving me I took a step to making myself happier, which for me is quite a big deal. I promise to try and make a happier post next time, wish me luck on that one. I think I'm going to go look over all of the equations I don't have to know to make myself cheerier. xoxo

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